Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Die hair, die.


Today I thwarted the schemes of my hair to dominate my head. I saw this day coming for some time now, and I knew it was inevitable. Day by day, slowly and methodically my hair has been spreading and growing, claiming any empty territory on my scalp and face. I thought for a while that perhaps we could live in peace, my hair and I, but it just got out of control; it wouldn't stop. I knew it had grown enough, and I think it knew too; yet still, it grew and grew. I had warned it before, I had made my intents perfectly clear, but it never heeded my threats. . . so I turned my threats into action and reclaimed my head as my own. I enlisted the help of hair combat sergeant first class, Wanda, from the SuperCuts Division. She struck hard and fast. Before the hair could even retaliate it was over. As the dust settled, the scars of war covered the landscape. The hair fell back in retreat as it watched it's comrades fall to the floor. I then returned home and quelled any resistence that remained on my face with a new razor. My hair is not gone now. . . but at least now it realizes who is in charge. I hope that this action will result in a longstanding peace between our two parties. --Ryan

9 comments:

Rachel Lee said...

That's interesting. Have a great day!

the wife said...

such a poet....maybe i will post a pic of his hair that survived, later. thanks for posting Ryan!! :)

Laura K said...

Such an inspirational story. Makes me want to go cut all my hair off! =) I would love to see the picture. Love ya
Lor

April said...

Wow I was amazed by reading that. I was actually scared that the ending was going to say, "I am now bald or close to it." Good story, Ryan. I would love to see a pic to make me more at ease though heh.

kmom said...

You write very, very well. Now you have your interview haircut. Good luck finding a great job.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA, i definitely laughed out loud for about 10 minutes straight at work today after i read that post! The irony of it all, was that i read the entire monstrosity totally feeling 100% sorry for your wife and her facial hair....i could not believe she would post such a thing for the entire world to read....it was not until the very end of the story that i realized....it was you, Ryan....so after that i laughed about 10 more minutes and now i must go to our meeting. thank you for making my day just that much better with a good belly laugh :) adieu.

~AmyLynn

the wife said...

Maybe I should make him put his name at the BEGINNING of a post so people don't think I have facial hair!

ktsdad said...

I was so confused thinking what has Katie done! I say forget graphic design and just start writing!

Mom I said...

Good job Ry. I knew you had it in you. The guy out there across from the tire place will miss you but I'm glad you found someone worthy of the challenge. Way to go Wanda. Love ya Ry.

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