Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Floor

We have started going to a new class on Wednesday nights for newly married couples or soon to be married couples. It's about communicating bc Oklahoma has like the second highest divorce rate in America, so they want to install this CPREP class.

Anyway...Last week we learned about utilizing the Speaker/Listener technique, which is supposed to be helpful in argumentative situations. They spent half the class talking about "your arguing style." Ryan and I spent half the time counting in our heads the arguments we have had in the past three years and we came up with a grand total of 1.5. We are just not argumentative people and we don't have strong opinions on a lot of things and if one of us does it's me and he doesn't care, so I win. For our homework one of the activities was to practice the technique with a non argumentative subject. We described our childhood bedrooms and used Birthday Bear as "the floor." Maybe next time we feel a fight coming on we will use the technique but according to our history, that won't be for another year or so. I hear when children come along they make you fight, but I dunno. I just don't see us as an arguing couple, maybe I will eat my words in a few years but I hope not. Today's question is have you ever used the speaker listener technique during a brawl? And the second question is when do you stop being newlyweds (I need to know this bc we might have to change the title of our blog soon...suggestions anyone?)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have tried to use the technique, Johnny never could hold up to it. As for the newlywed thing, some say after you have been married for 2 years you are no longer a newlywed. -Aril

Anonymous said...

Lol I cannot spell nor remember my password to post on this blog. -April

Anonymous said...

To be honest I don't know what the speaker listener method is, so I'm not sure if we've ever used it or not. Its good to know you guys don't argue very much. "People in the know" say its healthy to argue, but I don't agree. We're called to be peacemakers and love like the Lord, so that just doesn't fit with their theory. As far as the newlywed thing, I think you can be considered a newlywed until you have kids. Some couples stay newlyweds forever because they never have to share their spouse. Thats strictly my opinion. Love you guys, Mom I

Packrat said...

Marriage gets better with age. Over the years, expectations and hang-ups diminish as love for each other grows deeper and more meaningful. And, of course, kids are always there to sap your strength so there's less energy to rumble.

Mike said...

Being a Newlywed doesn’t really mean much except that we’re supposed to take it for what it IS.
A little known fact is that it was named after a handsome man named John Newly, a devout bachelor from Atlanta in the 1800’s. For a long time, he had quite a following of lovely ladies vying for his hand in matrimony. Years of chasing passed by like a barefoot race along a rocky trail, until one day, a beautiful young lady from Iowa came to Atlanta for a Corset Convention. Between shows, she accidentally bumped into John on a hurried trip to the Powder Room. Capturing his heart, they were soon married at his Grandfather’s mansion and moved to Iowa to become a corn farmer. For years, the lovely ladies of Atlanta continued to look for John, often coming to the mansion to inquire of him. Grandpa would always simply reply, “Newly Wed”.

kmom said...

Maybe after a year you are no longer considered newlyweds. I thought when a person had the floor, he was the speaker and in charge of the conversation. Is an object supposed to be held to remind the couple who has the floor? The suggestions seem to be good for anyone having a conversation. I think I have read or heard them before. Paraphasing what the speaker has said is helpful for the listener since sometimes the listener misunderstands the speaker and neither one realizes it. I want to copy off that list.

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