Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Nobody's Perfect

That seems like an obvious statement right? But in the world of "Blog land" (i.e. usually people I have never met but read their blogs) I know I find myself thinking "That person always has it together. Or their house is so cute, it is always clean, their kids are always happy, and they live on cloud 9 all the time" Of course it is silly! Why would they put a pic of a crying kid, a dirty house, or blog about arguments with their spouse, tantrums with their kids, and money issues? I guess that's why I find blogs appealing that tell it all. The good and the bad.
So I try to keep it real with my readers too. I hope no one ever reads my blog and thinks I have it together. I'm the lady of perpetual sickness remember?! On any given day you can ask me about my health and chances are something crazy is happening (Like the weird poison ivy rash on my leg or the fact that my fingernails have started coming off at the base...and that was just this week me you don't want to know about the previous weeks) But I don't tend to blog about my health issues too much because they are vast and it only feeds my hypochondriac tendencies, and it's just down right depressing after awhile and sounds like whining. I do try to blog about parenting struggles because that is one area I feel comfortable sharing ups and downs and I feel it's beneficial to me and to others. (These sad Liv photos come from the most recent horrible parenting time of our lives: dinner time. Can anyone tell me how to have a peaceful dinner with the family?)
Once upon a time, I honestly thought I was the only one who wigged out when they rearranged furniture in their house with their husband. But after being at a few friends houses and witnessing first hand the dialogue between a husband and a wife while they moved a couch back and forth, I realized it's completely normal to wig out! Who knew?! When Liv was a teeny baby I thought I was the only one that occasionally lost it and yelled "WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! STOP CRYING!" at her like she could help it, then felt horribly guilty about it, until I was with mommy friends who occasionally would do the same thing. I'm not saying I was proud of myself after seeing others behave this way, but I realized it was NORMAL. And isn't that something we all want to feel?
I don't know if there is some great revelation I am trying to get it other than
1. Don't compare yourself to others because the person whose life you are comparing yours to has just as many fights with their spouse, regrets about their past, struggles with their kids, decisions about money, and home construction projects they wished were getting done as you do!
2. Be willing to share ups and downs on your blog (and in your life!). I think others truly appreciate honest blogs that let them see that others are just as "normal" as they are


LittleKelly said...

I completly remember a day I screamed at Eli for about 30 min as he screamed back. It was not my best mommy moment. Glad to hear you did it too.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried giving her a spoon during meal times? When Hannah started crying when we sat down, I just gave her a spoon and she instantly stopped. I guess she wanted more independence..*shrug* -April

H said...

I appreciate your honest blogging, you've especially been an encouragement to me in being a new mom myself!

lauren and brad said...

I give you full permission to reveal that both of those incidents were me! :)

I would not make it through at times without being able to ask you, "Is that normal?"

Thank you for being my favorite sounding board!

The Moores said...

You are so right, Katie. And I have to admit that my blog is seriously lacking in the real life struggles department. Maybe it's because my life is so incredibley and magically perfect that I don't have any to share! (ha, ha, right.
I admire your honesty.

Monique and Granny said...

I love your blog.

Candace, Luke, and Madelyn said...

I def relate to your blog!!! Its nice to know Im not crazy!!

Kelsey said...

Meal time will get better with time. There is no instant fix, at least not in my experience. It's a lot better now, at 20 months, then it was at 12. Maybe something to look forward to?? Thanks for this blog though, I needed to hear that!

Shawn and Becky said...

I think we all have those moments . . . I had one yesterday – and I took a minute for myself while Cameron kinda of took one for himself, both almost in tears . . . it’s brutal, but I find if I give myself 10 seconds to take a deep breath, laugh, then head back in I can talk to him and ask him what he needs. It can be brutal sometimes and I think we all do it, some with grace and others not so much. I think you’re right about the honesty in our blogs. Mine isn’t that honest . . . especially because I’m not really willing to admit the twos are here yet . . . I’ll keep ya posted! But you might have inspired my next post

I’ve learned a lot from watching Penelope, who watches Cameron, at meal times with lots of little ones. It’s amazing how there’s not food everywhere, but she keeps her voice low and says things so gentely and quietly like ‘no no we don’t throw our food we eat our food’ it almost makes me laugh to watch, but they all respond so amazingly to her gentle touch . . .most of the time. She brings all the kids to the table and talks about ‘table talk’ (which refers to level of voice and the things they can say at the table) and actions . . . granted it’s easier with peer pressure, but I can remember saying things at our table like, look how mommy is doing it, we don’t throw food on the floor – it goes in our tummy. . . or tell me what you need . . . it really does get better. We’re still working with Cameron, he ate nothing for dinner last night and sat and whined . . . it was lovely, but I started to ask him about our day and telling daddy and he pepped up, didn’t eat, but pepped up. I just had to take his plate from him so he didn’t push it off the table :). I also moved him into a booster seat at about a year so he could sit at the table with us and it seemed to help.

reborn1995 said...

It really does seem like some people just don't have problems or near the amount or the same sorts as me, and it's all too easy to play comparison games and feel inadequate. But the truth is, i just don't have to measure up to those people. Very hard to remember that when i feel rather problem-ridden though. Thanks for the reminder.

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