Monday, September 05, 2011

The Only Child Debate

When you get engaged the first question people ask is "When are you getting married?"
When you get married the first question people ask is "When are you having kids?"
When you have a kid the first question people ask is "When are you having another one?"

I'm kidding....sort of. No, I really am. But it seems lately that I'm getting asked that question a lot. And I'm still leaning toward the answer that Olivia may be an only child. (And just by typing that sentence I'm sure I've jinxed myself and I'm probably pregnant right now). The reasons are various and you probably don't want to know them all. And if you do want to know them all then you better take me to lunch and be prepared to learn some frightening facts about my body thanks to bearing one child.

But do you want to know what a conversation with my husband is like when we try to discuss the possibility of another rugrat in our lives? I brought the topic up at a dinner date the other night and he actually answered with this:

K: So what do you think about having another kid?
R: Are you familiar with Schrodinger's cat?
K: Who is Schrodinger and what does his feline have to do with our future children?
R: It's a paradox.
K: I'm already lost.
R: It's a quantum mechanical thought experiment that deals with a cat in a box.
K: I'm even more lost.
R: No just listen. I'm not making it up, it's pretty famous. So there's a cat in the box and there's also cyanide in the box, so the cat could be dead or it could be alive. But we won't know until we open the box. So right now both outcomes are a possibility. And neither one is true or false.
K: You want to poison our babies with cyanide?
R: No but I'm saying right now I can see a future with a second child and I can see a future of Olivia as an only child. Both are a possibility and neither is right or wrong.
K: I don't see how this cat is helping us make any kind of decision.

End Scene

And then I get a headache because my husband gets too philosophical about things and I'm not smart enough to keep up. Seriously. I want to know does anyone else's husband respond to questions with answers like that?! So anyway I'm sure we'll end up using a Magic 8 ball to decide, but until then, there's the answer for anyone else who was wanting to ask me in the near future!
We're a pretty cute family of three until we figure it out!


kmom said...

I'm so glad you married a man of contentment. It seems he will be fine with one or more children. Ultimately, its God's decision. Pray for wisdom and God's will to be done.

AM said...

I think you should ask people when they will stay out of your business. Just like "when are you going to stop breastfeeding", "have you got two babies in there?!", etc. :)
It is one thing from close friends who you are already discussing these dilemmas with. It is another thing from acquaintances and family members you are not close with!
You do what you feel is best for you. (Unless you really are pregnant this very minute and then you adjust to God's surprises!) :)

Anonymous said...

My son is so wise (and smart). Good answer Ry. Your mama loves you. And I love your sweet family too, no matter how big or small it is. Mom

Summer said...

That is just the debate Andy and I were having when we found out we were pregnant. It's funny, I believe the week Andy decided definitely no more was the week I got pregnant.

Famous last words...

Monique said...

John sounds alot like Ryan with his responses. They will have to meet one day.

The Moores said...

That conversation is cracking me up! I had no idea he was such a philosopher. Good luck making a decision!

lauren and brad said...


Shawn and Becky said...

Ryan cracks me up! I faced the same thing for over a year. If and when you are both ready you'll know. And then you'll be scared out of your mind if it actually happens :) I actually almost thought of telling people actually I can't have more children - to make them feel as bad as they were making me feel :) but never did. It's not wrong to only have one!

Erica said...

Sorry you're getting the question so often!!
I've had half the people asking when we're going to have a baby (not in the next 2-3 years), the other half saying, "Wait 5-9 years." I think the questions will never stop...unless people think you have too many kids.

Leslie said...

what about, "you have the perfect family! how lucky!"

i like that.

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