Sunday, May 11, 2014

Newsletter: 56 Months

Dear Olivia,
I'm writing this letter on Mother's Day and although I'm the mother I feel it's appropriate because I definitely wouldn't be a mother if it weren't for you!  We had the mother/daughter spa night at church this weekend and got to participate in a fashion show with matching outfits, eat some delicious treats, and pamper each other with pedicures, massages, and other beauty treatments. Before all that I took you to dinner and you chose Joey's pizza much to my surprise! We had lots of fun together and you remembered things we did from it last year and were looking forward to it all week.
After 6 weeks in that pink cast, we finally got the ok to remove it from your doctor. Bath time is so much easier now! It's only been a few days so you still aren't using your left arm that much. You often keep it bent and use it like it is still in the cast. You were left handed before all this happened and now I'm anxious to see if you go back to using it or not since you got so good using your right hand!

We are probably just tempting fate with the bike riding, but we got it at a garage sale awhile back and then you broke your arm so you haven't gotten to ride it until now. You are really good at it, but I still don't feel safe going very far without your daddy near! You get going pretty fast down some of our hills and I can't keep up!
Working on the bike with daddy
We have been geocaching a bit this month and your phrases are cracking me up. Especially when it comes to "muggles" (non-geocachers....I don't know who invented the geek speak behind it). You practically shout out "Muggles!" whenever we pass someone while on a hunt. Or when I asked if you wanted to take Grammy and Poppa geocaching when they are here you sighed dramatically and said "We can't. They are muggles and don't know how to!" I tried to tell you we could teach them.
We walked to the donut shop the other day. It's a mile long walk, but an enjoyable one and when there is a donut at the end of it, a mile can go fast for a 4 year old! We walked down the median for most of the journey and you were convinced that we could catch a bird or squirrel if we were real quiet. You kept whispering "Hands in mom! On the count of three we'll say goooo bird catchers!" Our tries were unsuccessful (thank goodness) but you weren't dismayed as there were also lots of trees to climb and dandelions to pick.
I definitely feel us butting heads quite a bit this month. Whatever I ask, you reply with a negative or contradictory answer even if you are going to change your mind two seconds later you HAVE to disagree with me first!

Me: Let's go outside and enjoy the nice weather.
You: NO! I want to play inside! ............Hey Mom do you want to play in the yard with me?
Me: How about a sandwich for lunch?
You: I don't want a sandwich!.........I'm hungry can I have some peanut butter and jelly?
Me: Want some ice cream?
You: No!......Ooooo yes!

It's a bit ridiculous, but I think I was like this with my mom a bit too. I'm not sure what's behind it...wanting to be right? Not wanting others to influence your opinion? Or just a taste of stubborness? It can be funny at times, but more often than not it's just exhausting!
I would like to use someone else's words for once in this letter because I think it rings so true for me and many other mothers. She expressed it far more eloquently than I could have.

"The vulnerability of motherhood is what ails me. It is what drives my anxiety and the swallowing down of my worst fears. It is what finds me, begging God above to make me capable of protecting my children and raising them with love and goodness inside. It is a lesson every day in humility, in letting go, in digging in. I will never get used to it. 

But it is the love of motherhood that cures me. It forces me to do more good than I was ever capable of doing on my own. To be stronger than I want to be. To live outside my own narrow point of view. To speak up despite my weakness. Everything… better, more deeply, passionately.. for them."   

So beautifully expressed and I have reread it a lot leading up to Mother's Day today. Thank you for making me a mother, sweet girl, you make me a better person just by being you!


Anonymous said...

I really enjoy your blog. You intrigued me with the geocaching so I looked it up and found there were several close by. We are going to give it a try. Wouln't want to be muggers! I hope we get to see you while you are here. Maybe you all could come over for dinner or something.
Aunt Debby

kmom said...

I especially like the last picture. She sure did learn to ride the bike fast, even if it does have training wheels. Now you and Ryan will be jogging or running.

Anonymous said...

I'm a mugger for now, but Olivia can come to Oregon and help make Grandma a proud geocacher.
I love the quote. Motherhood is forever and always the same, no matter the generation. And you are a wonderful mother. Hugs and kisses to my 56 month old granddaughter. Love, Momaka Gma

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